Friday, June 23, 2017
Seijitsu ni kurushimu
The waters reach up to my neck.
The slimy brine I try to climb is worse than a wet deck.
The grip of the rip pulls me from the shore.
It feels like a battle moving toward war.
The water is rising. Waves wash over my face.
The effort to breathe has become a race.
The pull is toward deeper waters.
The depth of wet holds the darkest of daughters.
My voice has grown weary from calling for help.
The kelp invokes shock with a more urgent yelp.
My eyes grow dim from searching, not finding.
The effort to find has become blinding in the binding.
I have yet to slip the surly bonds of the sea.
Would to dance in the height of sky with wings that make me feel so free.
No wonder of it. The sheer slap of salt water ought to
shine light for my mind to find the way out of the strewn spew
of wetness no longer blue.
It is zeal for your house that consumes me.
I am being swallowed whole by the not me of sea.
When I humbled my soul with asceticism
they said it wasn't necessary for skepticism.
What I did not steal must I now restore?
Can I stop the carnage of the boarhound to the boar?
The wrongs I have done are not hidden from truth.
When only wrongs are counted, truth isn't true.
I have become a stranger to my kin.
I became an alien to that which I had been.
Will I become a byline for the evening news?
Sometimes when you win you lose.
Death became a naughty tease.
He was like a lover that could not be pleased.
He beckoned lightly in the dark.
He was as strong as he was stark.
He promised relief from pain and desperation.
It was like my soul could choose separation.
Insults have broken my heart.
Does this brokenness allow for another start?
It is for your sake that I have born reproach.
This is the time that I become my own ardent coach.
My prayer is for salvation.
Liberation will be my libation.
Rescue me from the tow
that seeks to sink me below.
Do not let the deep swallow me whole.
I got this sudden feeling. I might want to learn to bowl.
Draw near to me. Blessed shore!
You are the newest promise for all that I adore.
Freedom from the current's tow,
release me from the need to know.
Wash me up on the bed of land.
I cannot walk. I cannot stand.
I look for pity like a dog looks for a bone.
I look to share but I am all alone.
I look for comfort in what is now unknown.
No one appears. I feel cold as stone.
I leave perception in the harsh night air.
I lose my sight. I don't care.
Salvation saved my soul from separation
but I have no strength. There is only the lack of desperation.
I feel so cold.
Will I live until I grow old?
To the leader: according to Lilies. Of David.
1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.
2 I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
and the flood sweeps over me.
3 I am weary with my crying;
my throat is parched.
My eyes grow dim
with waiting for my God.
4 More in number than the hairs of my head
are those who hate me without cause;
many are those who would destroy me,
my enemies who accuse me falsely.
What I did not steal
must I now restore?
5 O God, you know my folly;
the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.
Do not let those who hope in you be put to shame because of me,
O Lord God of hosts;
do not let those who seek you be dishonoured because of me,
O God of Israel.
7 It is for your sake that I have borne reproach,
that shame has covered my face.
8 I have become a stranger to my kindred,
an alien to my mother’s children.
9 It is zeal for your house that has consumed me;
the insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.
10 When I humbled my soul with fasting,*
they insulted me for doing so.
11 When I made sackcloth my clothing,
I became a byword to them.
12 I am the subject of gossip for those who sit in the gate,
and the drunkards make songs about me.
13 But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord.
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of your steadfast love, answer me.
With your faithful help 14rescue me
With your faithful help 14rescue me
from sinking in the mire;
let me be delivered from my enemies
and from the deep waters.
15 Do not let the flood sweep over me,
or the deep swallow me up,
or the Pit close its mouth over me.
16 Answer me, O Lord, for your steadfast love is good;
according to your abundant mercy, turn to me.
17 Do not hide your face from your servant,
for I am in distress—make haste to answer me.
18 Draw near to me, redeem me,
set me free because of my enemies.
19 You know the insults I receive,
and my shame and dishonour;
my foes are all known to you.
20 Insults have broken my heart,
so that I am in despair.
I looked for pity, but there was none;
and for comforters, but I found none.